Sad But True

It's sometimes difficult for you to accept change -- especially when it involves saying goodbye to something (or someone) who has brought joy to your life. But things change, and people move in new directions -- and you need to accept that. Besides, the transitions that are happening in your life right now are going to have very positive long-term results. While they won't all be easy to go through, they'll do wonders for your self-confidence.

I'm a Twighlight fan...this can't be helped

I blame one person and one person only....MicB. She did this....I wasn't interested in reading the books or watching the movies until her...so it's her fault entirely. But I love her for it. The actors aren't great....that's a given...but it's the feeling you get from the storyline. You don't go to the movies to watch Channing Tatum act either...you just go to stare :::twitterpated googly eyes:::
Back to reality....Twighlight....so I got into it just a few months ago....just in time to be all excited about the final film coming this November.....YAY! So today driving to lunch a song came on the radio and I loved it...turns out to be a song from the movie...go freakin figure. But I had to share...because I think it's a loverly song...and you will love it too...and let's be honest, who doesn't love cheesy, romance songs that make you think of a glittery vampire?

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

I Thought I Was Stronger

I thought I was stronger than I feel right now....so many emotions...and I don't know whether to cry...or just laugh hysterically. I miss so much...so many people...so many places....so many things. I am beyond blessed....an amazing son....a strong and loving family....encouraging and supportive friends...so whuck is going on? I have no idea....well I take that back...I have an idea...and it sucks....because I hate feeling like this.

I miss Stillwater:

I miss my mom more than anything. I miss knowing where I'm going without thinking about it. I miss having 2 Wal-Marts. I miss Boomer Lake. I miss game-day weekends. I miss McAlister's with K...I miss K!!! I miss card night with the girls....G, M, and R. I miss Orange Friday's. I miss Ross. I miss the Foundation...especially EB, AD, LW, JL, CL, SK, KW, CR, and LW. I miss my ward. I miss Louie's. I miss Calf Fry and College Days. I miss Meanie cat. I miss my neighborhood....and my neighbors! I miss RMCF.

I miss Abby's blue lights. I miss talking to G....we're too far! I miss the university. I miss Walk MS. I miss Bedlam! I miss wrestling. I miss the Renaissance. I miss the Valero. I miss the rain....the thunderstorms. I miss my house....my room...my CLOSET! I miss the Tunnel Wash. I miss Daylight Donuts...I know E misses them too! I miss the campus bells!

 I miss Main St...and Perkins....and McElroy. I miss the Sea of Orange. I miss The Strip. I miss Bad Brad's BBQ...and all the Joe's. I miss Sonic happy hour! I MISS MY MOM!!!!!!

I miss so much about my hometown...every little thing that I didn't even realize existed until now. I miss my home...I miss my friends...I miss my life.

I know moving was the best thing for me and E....and everyone else that was involved...and I don't regret it at all. So many wonderful things have happened because of this move....but I still miss Stillwater....and I know I'll always miss it. I'm grateful, more than anything, to have a place to call home...and I'm grateful it's Stillwater.

Encouraging Words

You can't give up yet! Even if things seem especially dire, you've got to persevere -- even if it's just to prove a point to your kids or anyone else who's watching. You may be surprised! Your view on life has definitely been centered around the glass being half empty for a while, but today a fresh, idealistic energy will surround you -- and give you hope. Also, you are surrounded by people who cherish you and you should start relying on them more than you have been. They are in your life because they want to be there, so let them help you! They will play a vital role in helping to turn your outlook into a more of a glass half full one.

Star-gazing

So yes, we're all aware that I'm into my horoscope...but who wouldn't be if it said things they wanted to hear? What better way to blow sunshine up anyone's rear than to tell them that their life is perfect and everything is going according to plan...especially if you've had my roller coaster of a life lately...let's be honest!
Well...here's today...and I couldn't be more pleased with it!
"Lately you've been fighting the urge to start any new projects -- but today is finally the right time to embrace a new idea and work on fleshing it out. Initiate something new, and you will get the strong sense of possibility -- the sense that you truly can shape your life in a new way if you want to. Are you afraid of getting what you really want? Nonsense! The universe says that any pathway you start walking down today will lead you to enlightenment."

I know exactly what my new project is and I'm ecstatic to shape my life exactly the way I want....I'm feeling a bit empowered these days...and boy does it feel GOOD!

I've always loved Courtney Cox

I've been reading about Courtney and David's split....my guilty pleasure = celebrity gossip...and I'm amazed when couples can be mature about splits, especially when it involves children. And part of my heart sinks because I know that the split with my ex could've been so much easier had different choices been made. Now, of course, I'm not pleading innocence at all...but I have to remember that this split wasn't my idea...it was his...and although I agree now that it was the best thing for everyone, I still don't agree with the way he handled things. From going out and partying, to bringing a third person into the picture before anything was settled, to choosing everything in the world over our son...I struggle every day with the thought that I spent so much time and energy on someone that has zero respect for me or our child, which by default makes me have no respect for him. His choices don't bother him, his family, or his friends, and that's still extremely painful...to think that something that was once so sacred means absolutely nothing. Courtney once said about David, "He's my favorite person in the world. He's my best friend. No matter what happens in our future, he's my very best friend." I only wish I could say the same about my ex. But, what's done is done...and there's no going back and changing anything....that's all there is to it. Sad, but true.

These chucks were made for walking...

I've been thinking about this post for awhile now - not sure how to write it, or even if I should. It really is a sensitive subject right now and I've had to keep a few things to myself. We all know I internalize a lot - my sister gets to hear the majority of all my struggles - but everyone else is kept in the dark. A few friends who know me well enough to know something is wrong, know - but they don't dare force me to talk about it.
E and I are moving. This wasn't a quick decision - it was very thought out, prayed about, and an extremely overanalyzed (on my part) decision. I've weighed every option - made my pros and cons lists (like a good Capricorn would) and when it comes down to it, this move is a good move for me and E - and that is my main priority. We are very excited to be closer to my sister and nephews - but far enough that we have our own space.
I feel strongly that this is what is supposed to happen. I feel very blessed with this opportunity and I'm looking forward to the future.